Ways to Stay Connected to Missed Loved Ones

“When the sap goes up and when the sap goes down, people tend to pass away,” a dear church member informed my husband and me years ago. Since, I’ve watched, and tend to agree. With loss, we can discover ways to remember our departed loved one. As we grieve, we can learn there are several ways we can still feel connected to them. Likewise, it isn’t easy for a mom to reach the “empty nest” season in life. When our babies move away in marriage or college, staying connected becomes more challenging. How about when a young man or woman is sent off for deployment in the service? Equally hard for those left behind. Probably the hardest of all would be an abduction. Today, my desire is to start changing your focus from loss, at any level, to solutions of finding ways to stay connected.

The first step is to think of what reminds you of this person.

Is it an activity? An object? Words? Places they go? Favorite foods, colors, clothes? Mannerisms? The next step is to turn these memories into ways to celebrate their existence.

1. If it’s an activity you always did together, choose to continue doing so, if not too painful. This could be hiking, attending sporting events, or watching certain types of movies. It doesn’t have to be done as often, so choose what works best for you. If your loved one is away, you may choose to do this activity when they’re back for a visit.

2. If it’s an object reminding you of your special someone, and it can be placed on your desk or wall, try it. The ability to glance at it often will provide much comfort, and make you feel connected at that moment. If you’re like me, you will want to find something a bit more tangible, like a pillow or stuffed animal to hold, or a tool you can use.

3. Naturally, I love words. Think of a unique saying or repeated phrase used by your dearest. Adopting a few into your own vocabulary connects you in a special way. I believe that’s called bonding. LOL.

4. Where did the person you are missing go to hang out? Did they vacation in a certain spot every year? Did they attend local football games or Nascar? How about fishing at a particular pond or lake? Did they ride bikes or horses in a particular area? Maybe they eat out every Friday night at a barbecue restaurant. Wherever they went, you might find yourself going there as well, as if they were there. Being in a commonplace makes you feel connected.

5. Your missed loved one has or had favorite foods and forms of entertainment. Every time you see, hear, or taste one of their favorites, you are once again staying connected. To this day, when I eat spaghetti, I think of our oldest daughter. Shoe departments remind me of both of our girls. Peanut butter sandwiches remind me of my dad, and the list could go on.

Staying connected isn’t always and foremost in our minds.

However, when being done, it calms much anxiety. There is something about intentionally thinking of those we miss. A yearning calls out from deep within to feel close; to narrow the gap. These simple ideas can get you started feeling connected to many you miss. Don’t be surprised if more time is spent doing so at particular times of the year than others. Remember, there is no recipes or special formulas, just our memories and ways to personally stay connected to those we miss.

For the record, though, staying connected to Christ is the most important. We need to be intentional about staying connected to Him first through prayer, reading His Word, the Bible, and singing praises to Him. Please add other ways that came to your mind when reading this, or even share a way you’re already doing this in the comments below.

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© 2022, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.