Isolated. Lonely. Wanting to belong but feeling like an outsider. Unwanted.
No one wants to feel these feelings for any length of time, even though it will happen from time to time. No matter what we try to do to fit in, we still don’t belong.
It even happens among family and friends, groups we are in, and co-workers. Will we ever belong?
Sure will!
Change Your Focus.
Sounds crazy, but it’s true.
Feeling you don’t belong isn’t reality. It is lies and traps the devil put in your mind.
I’ve been there. I actually discovered this one day when feeling sorry for myself. Yep. I didn’t belong anywhere.
Exasperated, I wrote down the reasons why.
Ways I Don’t Belong
• I’m not like the blind or visually impaired
Those born blind are amazing with assistive technology and can hear faster than a snake can strike. They lack visual memories I have.
Low vision friends see more than myself so don’t understand my newfound struggles.
• I’m not like women ministers.
They preach and teach women. I teach children mostly. I’m unable to utilize the tools to study to the same depth they do. They can see and use notes.
• I’m not like homeschool moms.
Large families are predominant. They cook from scratch and are great with crafts. I’m not gifted at either, cook from a box, and had one student.
• I’m not even like most females.
Shopping for purses, shoes, and accessories isn’t my cup of tea. Getting nails done isn’t in my vocabulary, and I’m a terrible hostess.
• I’m definitely not like homesteaders!
I’ve rarely been on a farm, let alone live in the country. Why, I don’t even eat tomatoes or green peppers, and only have had cats and dogs as pets.
Can you relate to any of these thoughts?
Being positive, this list immediately depressed me. I forced myself to change my focus to things we might have in common.
I created a new list.
Created with a Purpose Mug
He has created YOU with a purpose friend! Now you can tell the world. Perfect to purchase for a friend or as a reminder to yourself.
I DO Belong
• I’m like the blind and visually impaired.
When it comes to accessibility tools, I’ve either used or am now using the same as them. We use similar techniques also. Our eyes might not have perceived the world exactly the same, or at the same age, but we all know what types of mishaps misperceptions cause, similar frustrations, and struggles.
• I’m like women pastors.
All of us are called. I know what it’s like for God to divinely inspire, or give revelation knowledge, along with the burden to teach or preach it. I know the fear of bringing forth God’s Word, without misrepresentation, and take it seriously.
Doubt and inadequacies plague us from time to time.
- I’m like home school moms.
I know the frustrations of wearing two hats of being teacher and mom, the financial sacrifices, and the struggle of feeling inadequate. I also know the lonely battle of living out my conviction when family nor my community don’t understand or agree. It’s a ministry and calling
- I’m even like other women.
I might have different interests, but I think way different than men. We’re more emotional. I understand insecurity, singleness, dating troubles, being married, pregnancy, and miscarriages. I share parenting problems of all kinds and ages, ways to run the home, and the challenge of preparing meals.
- I’m definitely like homesteaders
To homestead means to go back in time to fulfill a dream of yours or a passion – one often misunderstood. Our heart is to live healthier and longer. I’m learning the value of hard work and the joys of simple living.
Woah! The relief that washed over me after completing this list was indescribable! I didn’t have to be someone I wasn’t because I already belonged.
From then on, anytime satan tried to feed me those same lies, I changed my focus from how I was different to how we were the same. When I did, the monster staring at me immediately melted away.
Affirmations to Remember
- I am a unique masterpiece created by God.
- I don’t have to be just like everyone else.
- I am a child of God with my own plan and purpose designed by God.
- I don’t have to compare my plan with other’s plans in my circle.
- Life would be boring if we all were exactly the same. I add variety and spice to my group.
- We are all part of the body of Christ. Our uniqueness adds to the group and doesn’t take away from.
ACTION STEPS:
- Write down at least one place you feel you don’t belong, and why. Follow it with the reason you do belong.
- Write down these affirmations on note cards and read every day until they are hidden in your heart.
- If you don’t belong anywhere because you aren’t in a group of any kind, find one and join. Meet your neighbors at the very least. Take initiative like I did in college when I went door knocking to meet people.
If you are born again, you belong to God’s family. We will never be isolated the way our Lord Jesus Christ was on the cross. He will help you find other places and help you to change your focus when necessary.
© 2024, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.
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