Thankful to be a Mom: An Interview

Motherhood is a special gift. Expectant mothers everywehre pray for a healthy baby to arrive, and an easy pregnancy. My friend has a different reason she’s thankful to be a mom, so continue reading to learn why.

Nausea and vomiting were part of Vanessa’s first pregnancy, but to her delight, Logan entered into her world happy and healthy. Taking care of this bundle of joy, she was surprised to see a positive pregnancy test again so soon.

After suffering so from nausea and vomiting in her first pregnancy, Vanessa was elated at how easy this second one was going. Working overnights at the hospital where her husband worked while taking care of her one-year-old was a snap. She even took care of her sick mom, making fatigue normal.

At 33 weeks along, flu-like symptoms struck. Short of breath and vomiting, she rested wehn not at work.  She tried to lay down, only to discover laying flat was impossible. Off on Monday, she decided to kick it by resting. Besides, her routine OB checkup was Tuesday morning, February 19th. Thoughts of not going played in her mind because she felt so bad, but she did anyway.

“Having that appointment already scheduled is what saved my life.” Vanessa shared with me. “Between being busy and tired already, and thinking it was just a virus, I almost didn’t go believing I’d be better soon. It definitely was a God-thing.”

Weak and still vomiting, Vanessa’s husband drove her to her appointment. Her Dr. calmly said, “Okay, we’re going to test you for the flu, then if it’s negative, we’ll do another test. But, it’s never the other thing, so don’t worry about it.”

The flu test came back negative so they admitted Vanessa to the hospital and scheduled her for an Echo cardiogram test the next day, although another doctor reassured Vanessa and her husband they could go home after this test.

The Echo results showed Vanessa was suffering heart failure. Her ejection fraction rate was 5%, when it should’ve been between 55% and 75%. Her poor heart couldn’t pump out the blood as fast as it was coming in, causing fluid to be built up. All of this pressure is what had caused the vomiting and shortness of breath.

Vanessa’s voice softened as she explained to me, “No one expects heart failure during pregnancy, especially when you’re a healthy 22-year-old. The technical term is peripartum myopathy since peri means during pregnancy.”

A parade of cardiologists and OB doctors began working around the clock, diagnosing and starting treatment. Due to the fact that she was pregnant, she had to be flown to Barnes Jewish Hospital in St. Louis that Friday..

There, kind staff informed her of several possibilities. Vanessa’s heart could go back to normal after childbirth, she could die during her C-section, or may require a heart transplant.

Uncertain, but not afraid, Vanessa was comforted some by her husband who never left her side, but she mostly relied upon her faith and trust in her Lord and Savior. On Monday, Feb. 25th, Gage entered the world healthy at over six pounds, even though he was three weeks early.

Feeling more like a dream than reality, Vanessa repeatedly commented to her husband, “I’m just thankful to be alive. I’m thankful to be a mom.”

Given a multitude of new medicines, she had to be observed to regulate them and to be taught  much about nutrition. She was getting desperate by the end of those three weeks. She just wanted the dream to be over and to be back home.

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A Whole New World

Now with 2 babies to tend to, the inability to work, a pile of medical bills to pay, and not knowing her own capabilities, her family moved in with her parents. So many adjustments at once. Weekly appointments to the cardiologist were required. In fact, she was given one locally, but still had to see the one from St. Louis once a month, although he flew to her local hospital.

Not even a week had passed when Vanessa stood up, her  eyes rolled back into her head, and she crumpled to the floor, scaring her entire family. They rushed Vanessa to the hospital. This incident put her on a special program called Heart Wives. This program was super helpful but meant more appointments every week all on top of pediatric and OB appointments.

After about three months, the appointments slowly began to wane. Nonetheless, Vanessa remembers feeling more like a patient than a person. Birthdays were always special and celebrated in a big way with family, but her first one after giving birth, landed on an appointment day. Frustrated when the nurse pointed it out, Vanessa almost shouted, “It’s not a big deal.”

During the initial months, Vanessa remembers the anger stage of griefing the most. “It’s not supposed to be this way,” occupied her thoughts while her family became fearful and protective. So much attention was on Vanessa, she became nervous until around the sixth month when other things happened in her extended family, distracting them all.

Not being talked about as much, made her relax. However, symptoms returned about a year after being released, and Vanessa had to return to Barnes Jewish Hospital one more time. Her ejection fraction rate still hadn’t raised like they wanted so a pacemaker-defibulator was surgically inserted. Her heart now is at about a 40% rate.

Over time, Vanessa learned her limitations. Being tired and running out of energy was part of her new world, annoying her from time to time. She has good days and bad ones. A big boost came eighteen months after Gage’s birth, when her husband finished remodeling a trailer for them to live in on her parents property.

Desiring to be a family of four on their own for awhile, this move allowed her to adjust to real life much faster. Instead of having special moments with her boys from time to time, she felt her love growing more and more daily.

Seven years have passed now, and no other major incidents have occurred. Joining a Facebook support group has helped tremendously with personal and emotional care.

My Favorite Things

“I’m a simple girl from a small town. Family has always been important to me, so my favorite things are simple,” Vanessa shared over the phone with me.

Knowing her boys won’t go hungry, have clothes, toys, and plenty of love, satisfies Vanessa the most. Stability and safety without a kaotic home environment means a great deal. Vanessa can offer this regardless of her energy.

If you visit her Facebook, you would see the evidence of her love by all the photos of her boys. Building new traditions at the holidays is special. Weekly trips to the library gave Vanessa much joy. She doesn’t look for the activities, but rather enjoys the bonding and daily things most moms hate. When she washes clothes or cooks a meal, she’s thankful she’s able to take care of her boys.

“I believe the reason I like the simple things like rides to school, is because I didn’t know if I’d be here to do them,” Vanessa said reflectively.

No matter what, the ability to instill thoughts and values isn’t taken away. Molding them into adults is a gift from her to them she might not have ever had if her OB appointment hadn’t already been scheduled.

Special Note
Vanessa wanted me to mention this is uncommon and symptoms mimick pregnancy, so often are overlooked. This affects around 1 in 3,000 women, but not knowing can be deadly. Three people she knew died this summer form this condition.

Are you thankful for parenthood? If so, why or why not? Please share in the comments below.

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