Hurricanes, fires, earthquakes, floods, tornadoes, and blizzards or avalanches destroy lives, homes, buildings, and communities. They leave you numb, in shock, and depression knocks loudly at your door. Hopelessness creeps in; but I’m here to tell you it IS possible to survive, and even thrive.
It has been 17 months since my husband and I took a magic carpet ride for ten feet provided by a twister hitting our town as we lay outside our church. Sadly, we didn’t get to enjoy this free ride for it didn’t even register until a few days passed by. Hope may take longer than you expect. It may look different from originally imagined, but it exists.
I’ve lived in tornado alley my whole life seeing devastation close by, but it wasn’t until 2008 I had an opportunity to experience disaster relief when our old church building became a distribution center we ran. Boy, was it an education. It came in handy, too, three years later when an E-5 hit Joplin, Missouri. Our church and ministry helped feed over 10,000 meals, supply emergency kits, water, and later on, clothing and assistance cleaning up. Knowing many of the affected people and businesses sucked life out of us. Our town worked, shopped, and doctored there.
Neither experience prepared me emotionally, though, for our own town’s tornado. I thanked God it struck an unoccupied rental of ours creating an open floor plan and aerial view, instead of our house. However, six families in our church lost homes or had severe damage, and the church we pastored received damage too.
I chose to write some survival tips now, during the off-peak season because airing movies about tornadoes when a siren could go off at any moment stinks. Watching, if you’re a victim, knowing a disaster could strike brings a heaviness and unnecessary fear.
Always remember God didn’t cause the disaster and life will never be normal again, so don’t try. You will have a “new normal” that will be satisfying. While I’m not an expert, these tips are what I learned.
Survival Focus Tips:
1. Talk to others about how you feel. This seems like all you do in the beginning, but lasts a long while, especially the larger the devastation. At least it should if you want to be healthy and survive.
2. focus on the next thing to do. At first you can barely think, then you’re led through the muddle. As you are left to yourself more and more, don’t focus on your loss, but on the next thing you need to do.
3. Hold on to thoughts about what you have – not what you don’t have. This isn’t possible at initial impact, but will be what you focus on as the fog lifts.
4. Help someone else, even if it is with a small task. Carry something for someone, listen, or hold a child, hug and cry with someone you see. Share your child’s stuffed animals or toys with another who lost everything. If you can sing then gather children and sing songs.
5. Think about someone who had it worse than you in this disaster or any other thing. Some may have lost shingles off of their roof while their neighbor lost a roof. Someone might have lost their house but the neighbor lost their house and life.
6. Be creative. Draw, write, or put a model together. Journal or keep a diary. This therapy is needed at different times in the grieving process, depending on one’s personality. What’s important is to express yourself when your burden is getting heavy.
7. Listen or watch a funny movie or uplifting music. The worst thing you could do is to watch some tragedy. Laughter is medicinal.
What could you add to my list? Feel free to share your story as well.
We’re all still healing.
© 2015, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.
Thanks for sharing that tough experience in your life. You are such a positive person, very few know how much you really lost. You talk about what you have and what God does for you instead. Amazing! And, the tornado that struck you hardly affected anyone else. I always imagined that would be tougher than when a whole community is struck. I’m glad God protected Chris that day.
Great blog post Jena!
When our family came home from church one Sunday night and found that we no longer had a place to live in due to tornado destruction, we chose to give God praise! My husband had stayed home that night and my children and I had traveled on to church. My husband Chris dove into our closet and pulled our bedding down upon him. He could hear the tornado passing through our home splintering it to pieces. When Chris walked out of the rubble, he looked back and only the closet where he took refuge was still in tact, in fact the shingles were still on the roof of only that closet. Our family likes to believe that God had his hand on that small portion of our roof and saved Chris’s life. By finding both large and small things to give praise for during our difficult unexpected trial, it kept our family close and kept us focused on the fact that as long as you have your familyl….you can survive anything!
Pastor Robin