Meet A Mom of Nine

What do you call a mom of nine and a blind woman? Friends named Dena and Jena…of course. We’ve been friends for about fifteen years now…ever since we started a home school support group together.

Since, her boys have worked some for my husband, our families have taken mission trips together to Mexico, and They played a vital role in us starting Word in Action Ministries feeding program…can’t forget special times at Silver Dollar City in Branson either.

We’ve spent lots of hours learning how each other parents, runs our households, and teaches. Her as a mom of 9, and me, a blind mom, we felt unique. I never told Dena, but I often caught myself comparing my mothering and teaching capabilities to hers. However, She ended up helping me realize how different we all are, and things aren’t always how they appear either.

Today, I’m sharing about Dena and her family, even though it’s a longer post. I hope she inspires you as well. After all, anyone who can carry, and give birth to nine children in itself is quite a woman, especially with five weighing over 10 lbs. Amazing!

In order to take care of so many with so little, Dena learned to be industrious, organized, creative, and flexible. Early on, David worked extra jobs, when his county appraisal salary was low. Even when tired, he chimed in with cooking and tackling piled laundry when coming home during much of Dena’s pregnancies. Running the household requires them to work as a team.

HOME EDUCATING.
Dena thought she’d be sending her oldest off to public school. Instead, her husband wanted to home educate, so they could integrate God’s Word in all subjects. Like most home school parents, Dena didn’t feel qualified, yet she placed her trust in her husband, and her Lord.

Starting with a hands-on, unit study curriculum, called Konos, Dena hoped it would work forever. The time factor, though, forced her to switch to textbooks when she had one in high school and several elementary students. This ensured her ability to cover pertinent material in each subject for each age.

“I’m still changing curriculums, depending on the child’s interests and learning styles,” Dena told me.

“I understand,” I responded. “Isn’t it fun to be able to incorporate special trips with your school subjects?”

“Yeah. Family vacations like Yellowstone NATIONAL PARK became part of our learning experience. We researched it before leaving, read books on the way and then learn more about it after returning home. This way, we were able to discuss God’s creation from a biblical viewpoint, rather than the non-Biblical view often taught at those places.”

“Great point. Nonetheless, I know I was looking forward to when Leslie graduated. Have you ever wanted to quit since you’ve taught over 25 years?”

“Sometimes. I miss the hands-on activities now. My 7th, 9th and 11th-graders all use textbooks. But, I want to obey God and finish the task He has given me. Remembering Galatians 6:9 “and let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not,” helps.

“Most definitely. It’s one of my favorites, too.”

“Another thing that helps when I get tired,” Dena continued, “is remembering the parts of home schooling I love. I love learning right alongside my children, teaching them to read their first words, watching them struggle to read their first book, and finally conquering it. I enjoy seeing them learn new skills and even go beyond what I could teach them! I can’t imagine not having taught them. I have no regrets.”

Dena’s school year has been held between July and April for all the years I have known her. This allows them even more family time for camping and visiting grown children after they’ve left home.

RUNNING THE HOUSEHOLD
Money Management. “Thrift store shopping, garage sales, sewing, gardening, and raising farm animals helped to stretch our income,” Dena shared with me. “God has always provided just when we needed it.”

Desiring family time and values over material possessions, Dena has always worked hard to stretch the clothing and grocery money. Making their own bread and couponing were money-savers. So was the deer they were processing on her dining room table once when we visited, although Dena claims it tastes better processing it yourself. No matter what, her meals were balanced and nutritional-putting me to shame.

The most interesting way to save money I learned about was…drum roll please. Water. Okay, it wasn’t water, but it was timed showers to ensure everyone could have a hot shower.

I stole her idea of teaching money management with kids’ allowance.
10% for tithes
15% for spending
25% for short-term savings
50% for regular savings (cars, etc.).

Dena shared, “We’ve had to learn patience, love, and tolerance by having so many in such tight quarters. You must learn to overlook things like shoes on the living room floor.”

Chores and laundry.
Chores, according to Dena, have always been a “family thing”. Everybody helps in some way. Children are taught to sweep, set the table, fold laundry and many other things at young ages. Sometimes the entire family cleaned room by room, spending five minutes together tidying up that room. Other times, each person was assigned a room in the house to clean for weeks or months at a time.

“Now, girls do most of the indoor chores and the boys take care of the outdoor ones mowing, firewood, and animals,” Dena explained. “We finally let go of the idea of having a perfect home.”

Laundry systems and schedules varied over the years. “The system working the best was having the three oldest boys doing theirs on Wednesday and Saturday, the three younger boys on Tuesday and Friday, and David and I did ours and the youngest girls on Monday and Thursday. It’s still similar except the three oldest boys are gone and the youngest girls now do their own.”

I replied, “Finding time to do laundry was never much of a problem for me,” I shared, “but I had to safety-pin my socks together to prevent escape.”

“For a long time, we lived out of a sock basket. No matching necessary. Yep, if you needed socks…look in the basket. When they started doing their own laundry, matching socks became their own responsibility.”

Evidently, socks are a large problem with large families. Dena shared her children are also responsible for buying their own socks when they wear them outside and ruin them. She doesn’t buy them just because they’re lost, have holes, or have stains. I bet if you added up how much money she spent buying new socks vs. a dime for every sock that was lost, stained, or got a hole in them, the latter might come out the winner.

Guess which appliance they can’t live without? Those who guessed a washing machine are correct.

“The biggest disaster at our house was when the washing machine broke! We can do without the dishwasher, but not the washing machine. We could dry our clothes on a clothesline outside, or strung out in the living room, if necessary. Mountains of laundry could pile up almost overnight with eleven of us.”

Housing. Unlike most Americans, Dena has managed to raise her family in a home less than 2,000 sq. ft., using one bedroom for boys and one for girls. Bunk beds and trundle beds work amazingly well. Children were assigned drawers, rather than owning a complete dresser.

Christmas. Christmas is a time with family, and for giving. Every year the children make a calendar for relatives and make special candies chosen by each child. We were blessed to get a plate full one year. Yum! Children request clothes, shoes, and pillows over toys then play a scripture game to figure out what presents are theirs. Seeing lights at Silver Dollar City is a tradition as well.

ADVICE – BE RESPONSIBLE
When Dena’s family was small, they had one car. Now, only two aren’t driving themselves. Since it’s impossible to provide every child a car, pay increased insurance premiums, and pay for college tuition, David and Dena decided to teach responsibility.

“When the children are old enough to drive, they must get a job and buy a used car. Then, we expect them to pay for their own gas, insurance, and maintenance. They also have to pay for their own college, if that is something they desire to pursue, or take the initiative to apply for scholarships and grants.”

Before leaving the nest, Dena tells her children, “After you graduate from high school there is no more ‘hand holding’. You are in charge of your own life. You can continue to improve on the foundation we’ve given you, or not. It’s your choice.”

Like most Christian parents of adult children, they pray for them and help out occasionally. They firmly believe their children will get out of life what they put into it, including college. So far, it’s paying off. Her oldest is a federal service officer, one is an accountant for a large firm, and another works with computers.

Sounds like good advice to me.

Thanks for reading. Please give Dena a compliment by sharing this post. When you was reading did you think of any other questions you would like to ask her. If so leave your question in the comments and I will have her answer them. The answers will be sent in an email to all readers who are subscribed. If you are not subscribed subscribe here.

© 2016, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.