10 Quick and Powerful Actions with Long-lasting Effect to Build an “Out-of-this-World” Marriage
Remember the fluttering heart when becoming engaged? How about the shortness of breath and trembling hands, mixed with anticipation on the big wedding day?
I mean, you are “in love” after all. Those dreams tucked inside for a fantasy-filled future let you view your spouse as someone who can’t do anything wrong.
Perfect.
One year later, your mate can’t do anything right, and you find yourself wishing you had received a marriage manual as a wedding gift.
I sure wish I had a marriage manual when marrying my knight in shining armor who had custody of his two teenagers. However, if I had known what lay in our future, I may have backed out.
Likewise, if he had known the impact of my vision loss and total blindness, he would’ve bailed.
Thank God, He meant for us to be together, has been the center of our relationship, and guided us into ministry.
While we may desire marriages to be as beautiful as the wedding itself, disappointments arrive from not knowing what to expect. Unhappiness replaces fantasies, often leading to divorce.
A marriage manual might not exist, but there are plenty of nuggets that could help marriages build love and plenty of happiness.
Between pastoring and being married myself for almost thirty years now, I’ve gathered some observations and experiences. I do my best to live by them, and our marriage has a long-lasting love. He is my best friend, my lover, a great father, and super-duper pastor, who completes me and challenges me to be better every day!
Marriage takes work but is worth it!
10 Quick, but Powerful Actions:
1. Treat your mate as you want to be treated. It is called “The Golden Rule”. Before opening your mouth, ask yourself, “Would I want to . . . be griped out, yelled at, talked to in that tone, etc.”
2. Be intentional about doing one unselfish act a day for your spouse. It isn’t painful – I promise. It does deepen the love greatly though.
3. Start and end your day with a kiss, hug, or “I love you.” Doing all three scores bonus points, and so does showing affection before leaving and returning home.
4. Treat your spouse better than your friends. It’s so easy to let your guard down with your spouse as you get more comfortable. We don’t take our friends for granted, so why do we take our spouse for granted?
5. Want something done? Make requests – not demands. This improves the success rate drastically.
6. Genuinely brag on your spouse to others. Occasionally, do it in hearing range. Public declarations put a smile and color to their face.
7. Compliment your spouse daily. Tell them why you love them, like how they do something, or how much you appreciate them. The results are out of this world. Don’t believe me? How do you feel when someone compliments you? I know it makes me want to do it again. An onlooking child will beam an approving smile.
8. Set and keep regular date nights. When out on a date, talking about your children or the running of the household is forbidden. It’s time to dream and remember why you fell in love. Turn phones off!
If a family member isn’t available to babysit and you can’t afford to hire one, trade off a different night with friends who have children. Dates don’t have to be expensive, but they need to be special, and most importantly, kept.
9. Make peace with your past so it won’t destroy your future. Bad home lives growing up, and divorce, bring unresolved and damaging issues from your past. They won’t stay hidden forever!
10. Understand your job isn’t to change your spouse – it is to change yourself and pray for your spouse. It is impossible to control others.
Putting Jesus first in a marriage truly knocks a marriage into outer space. This doesn’t exempt us from work. In fact, both parties must give 100%.
God wants our marriages to be “out-of-this-world” so the world can clearly see it. Strong marriages build strong families, which builds strong societies.
Public displays of appropriate affection are signs of a healthy relationship . . . and one my husband and I gladly partake.
Now treat yourself! Grab 7 Rules to Fighting Fair below absolutely FREE! You don’t want to tear down your marriage as quickly as you build it.
Thanks so much for taking time to stop in and read.
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© 2022, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.
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