Make Marriage More Blissful With These Tips

Let’s face it – marriage takes work. How many of you wish you could go back and receive a marriage guide as a wedding gift? At the time, this kind of gift wouldn’t even be a consideration. I mean, the bride and groom are in love. They can’t find one thing wrong with their sweetheart, so no advice is necessary.

One year later, though, the same couple believes their mate can’t do anything right. Now, they might consider a guide to a blissful marriage. Or, they might throw in the towel without seeking advice from anyone.

Summer weddings dot calendars on walls and phones alike.

Wouldn’t it be nice for marriages to be as beautiful as the wedding itself? There are plenty of nuggets that could help newlyweds marriages retain their blissfulness, yet we’ve established they feel it’s not necessary since their relationship is sustained by emotions.

9 Tips for a Blissful Marriage

When the honeymoon is finally over, blissfulness can return with the following tips. Some of these work in other relationships as well. I pray you come away with something new to try.

Pastoring now for 21 years and married myself for 26, I may not be a pro, but I have gathered some anonymous sources. Many are from my husband and I’s observations or passed down in our families.

The Golden Rule is the BEST advice to live by any time, especially in a marriage. If you live by it, fights will be few and far in-between. Most of all, your marriage will be blissful.

1. Be intentional about doing one unselfish act a day for your spouse.

2. Start and end your day with a kiss, hug, or “I love you.” Doing all three scores bonus points, and so does showing affection before leaving and returning home.

3. Treat your spouse better than your friends. It’s so easy to let your guard down with your spouse as you get more comfortable. We don’t take our friends for granted, so why do we take our spouse for granted?

4. Want something done? Always remember to make requests; not demands. This improves the success rate drastically.

5. Brag on your spouse to others. Let them overhear once in a while, or make public declarations in front of them.

6. Encourage your spouse daily, if possible. Tell them why you love them, like how they do something, or how much you appreciate them. The results are out of this world. Don’t believe me? How do you feel when someone compliments you? I know it makes me want to do it again. FYI – doing this in front of your children breaks out a mile-wide smile.

7. Set and keep regular date nights. When out on a date, talking about your children or the running of the household is forbidden. It’s time to dream and remember why you fell in love. If a family member isn’t available to babysit and you can’t afford to hire one, trade off a different night with friends who have children. Dates don’t have to be expensive, but they need to be special and kept.

8. Make peace with your past so it won’t destroy your future. If you ran from a bad home life into marrying, or have been divorced, you’re bringing unresolved issues from your past that will reveal themselves and cause damage to your current one.

9. Realize you can’t control others but you can control your reactions. Your job isn’t to change your spouse – it is to change yourself and pray for your spouse.

7 Rules for Fighting

1. Never go to bed angry, and don’t sleep on the couch.

2. The word “divorce” isn’t allowed in your vocabulary. Remember, “Till death do us part?”

3. Anything from the past isn’t allowed to be drudged up – stay on topic. As in a court of law, evidence related to the case on trial is allowed; not previous trials.

4. Regardless of feelings, threatening to withhold money or intimacy is unfair fighting. It also has another name… manipulation.

5. Say “I’m sorry” quickly, and often. We can’t be forgiven if we haven’t forgiven others. Besides, we always want forgiveness and grace shown to us.

6. Instead of your goal being who is right or wrong, change it to finding a solution together.

7. Avoid many arguments by not sweating the small stuff. It doesn’t matter. Most arguments won’t matter in a week, let alone a year or five years.

The last piece of advice I want to share is from a song played at our wedding. The main line said, “Jesus is #1 in my Life, so Second Place will Have to Do For You.” If you are a Christian, your marriage won’t be its best unless you put Jesus first. Everything can truly become blissful when following God’s order.

Yes, marriage does take work.  By work, I don’t mean it should be 50/50. Both parties must give 100%. My husband and I believe in public displays of appropriate affection. This is even more important in today’s society. Stronger marriages produce stronger families, which is the foundation of our society. In my opinion, it’s a cracked foundation and we need to do everything possible to rebuild families. Amen?

What tips could you add to these? Please share them with all of us in the comments below.

Thanks so much for taking the time to stop in and read my blog this week. Feel free to share it with friends and family if you believe these tips are valuable.

© 2019, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.