Loss Comes in Different Packages

When hearing the mere mention of the word loss, death immediately invades our mind. The truth is, loss comes in different packages. While escaping loss of loved ones for many years, I learned early on another type. Living with a progressive eye disease meant constantly coping with loss. Loss – adjustment, loss – adjustment, loss – adjustment.

Most people forget or don’t realize loss comes in different packages. Each type requires grieving. Many great resources exist about grieving, but my focus today is on the numerous forms of loss.

Job loss or change.
I still remember when the plant my mother worked out moved from Kansas to Virginia. Over 200 men and women she had worked with for years were gone. Over ten years of companionship and routine were gone instantly.

Diagnosis of cancer or major illness.
Not only does doubt and fear of the unknown strike, but so does loss of your routine, eating your favorite things, limited mobility, hair, or even body parts. It’s a whole new world and culture plagued with overwhelming stress.

Moving to new towns, or churches.
Friends and familiarity from past years are left behind. The comfortableness of known ways are transformed into new, unpredictable ones.

The last child leaving the home.
Everyone is familiar with the empty nest syndrome. The loss of a purpose, a changing role and routine can be devastating. Identity can be lost without a passion of your own.

A pet’s passing or running away.
Since pets are often best friends, losing them can be challenging due to their constant companionship and nurturing they give. It’s the empty nest reincarnated and is made more difficult when faced with consoling a grieving child.

Foster children and custody battles.
Not only are giggles, hugs, and pictures to hang on the refrigerator gone, but it’s replaced with concern and worry about the child’s welfare. Step-parents experience this on a regular basis.

Remodeling.
Much to my surprise, in the midst of the excitement of new plans becoming reality, my heart saddened. I realized the back yard my girl had played in was gone forever. The old kitchen and back porch with character would never exist again. Memories felt like they were dependent on the physical setting remaining the same.

Imprisonment or long-term stay elsewhere.
Freedoms are alleviated when staying outside your own home and rules are imposed on you. The loss of freedom as you know it is real and hits harder the stricter the rules are or the more pleasures removed. Missionaries also experience this. I did when attending the Kansas Rehabilitation Center for the Blind one summer during college.

Miscarriages.
The loss of an unborn child isn’t just the loss of a child, but hope stolen. It brings up uncertainties for your future.

Loss of innocence.
Rape and molestation is a crime stealing a child of their innocence. Left with confusion, a lack of trust, and hurt, they often don’t know how to grieve. Victims frequently end up with bad marriages
and much emotional duress.

Aging.
Unable to move as quick, remember tasks, or have strength and endurance from younger years, life is faced with one loss followed by another continually – much like my eyesight loss.

Natural disasters.
The partial loss of a home, or the entire thing brings shock initially, followed by reminders for the rest of your life…I can relate. Stress can be added to grieving by dealing with insurance
companies and possible injuries, misplacement, and family members being at a different part of the grieving process than yourself.

Families with addicts.
A child’s bright future is stolen bit by bit as the addiction worsens. His/her abilities shrivel before your eyes, personalities change, and they become more dependent on you instead of independent.
Already feeling hopeless, possibly blaming themselves, they often get caught in a trap of attempting to compensate or cover up from society. Pain is intensified when help is never good enough and addicts shred you to pieces with hateful speech and false accusations.

Loss comes in different packages and sizes than death alone. It can last for a short period of time, or a lifetime. This list isn’t comprehensive, nor is it meant to depress you. Hopefully it allows you
to give grace to yourself and to others. If it’s yourself, give yourself permission to grieve. It isn’t silly. If dealing with others, be a friend to listen, love, and support through their time of loss.

We all live with something and emotions are part of our world. Let them shape you into a better, stronger person instead of adopting the victim mentality.

Have you thought about many of these losses before? Have you allowed yourself to grieve them? Share your struggles and triumphs in the comments below.

Thank you for stopping in, sharing your comments, and sharing my post with others. I appreciate your dedication putting up with me. Be blessed.

© 2016, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.