I Don’t Fit In and That’s Okay – I’m Unique!

Do you desire to fit in with someone, or somewhere? It’s no wonder. From toddlers on, we attempt to fit in.

Every where I turn, my mind naturally goes to ways I don’t fit in. Growing up didn’t make it go away either.

Trying to Fit In

When younger, we agree with people over stating our true opinions. We also want to:

• wear what is in style
• fix our hair like others, whether that means cuts, perms, coloring, shaving, spiking, or more
• join whatever group or go where the “popular” or affluent people go
• buy popular electronics, games, and cars
• decorate homes or remodel according to current trends

Sound familiar?

It is in our blood to fit in.  If we don’t do or appear like others, we feel rejected. We’re an outsider trying over and over again to get back inside. All we want is to belong, and not fail repeatedly.

Ways I Don’t Fit In

I don’t know about you, but the truth is, the harder I tried to fit in, the more I felt I failed.

My mind naturally believed this:

• I don’t fit in with the blind population because those born blind don’t know colors or have the visual memories. Many low vision friends see more than myself so don’t understand or relate to my struggles.

• I don’t fit in at church. As a leader, I must set an example. I can’t let my guard down completely. Be friendly, but don’t get too close as a rule.

• I don’t fit in with women pastors. They preach and teach adults regularly. I teach children mostly. I can’t study to the same depth either.

• I don’t fit in with homeschool moms. They usually have large families and cook from scratch. I taught one student, had an education degree, and cook items from a box.

• I don’t even fit in with most women. Shopping for purses, shoes, and accessories isn’t my cup of tea. Getting my nails done isn’t in my vocabulary.

Has this sparked some of your natural thoughts of ways you don’t fit in?

I am not a negative person, so let me tell you why I’m okay now with not fitting in, and how you can be too.

Realization Dawned

Although I didn’t obsess over not fitting in, the pain was real from time to time. What should I do? How should I think?

Those were questions I asked myself until the day realization dawned.

When reading Ephesians 2:10, I realized I was created to be unique. If I am supposed to be unique, should I try to fit in? 

Faced with a dilemma, I soon learned the more I accepted my uniqueness, the more I realized how I already fit in. God’s Word changed my focus.

I’m Unique

“Repeat after me. I am a unique, unrepeatable, one-of-a-kind miracle of God,” I said, drawing each word out for emphasis. It was part of my sermon when my husband had me fill the pulpit for him once. 

Ephesians 2:10 refers to us as God’s workmanship. We are God’s creation.

Think about an artist creating a painting or a sculpture. They, in essence, are creating a masterpiece.

In fact, the New Living Translation Bible refers to us as a masterpiece in this verse. And what is a masterpiece, but a unique, unrepeatable, one-of-a-kind miracle of God!

Grasp this!

• You are unique!
• You can’t be repeated.
• No one else is exactly like you.

Now, that is a miracle! God’s special creation

He created you, a unique individual, to do good things He planned for you a long time ago!

How exciting is that!!!

A few years ago, I read several examples of how unique we were in Francis Chan’s book, Crazy Love. I’m not sure of the exact number but in it, he pointed out there are over 300 types of laughs among people. 

Incredible.

The only way to being okay with not fitting in is by accepting who we are in Christ. Then, and only then, can we see ways we do fit in.

I Fit In

Did you know you don’t have to imitate to fit in? No, you don’t. 

Now that we have accepted the truth that we are supposed to be unique, we can see ourselves differently. It’s possible to change our focus.

Focus on how you already belong (or fit in), rather than on how you don’t. This allows us to fit in and embrace our uniqueness at the same time. Realize you already belong instead of believing you don’t.

I DO fit in!

• I fit in with the blind and the visually impaired.

We use many of the same tools and techniques. Our eyes might not have perceived the world exactly the same, or at the same age, but all of us know what types of mishaps these misperceptions can cause. All of us rely on special tools, too.

• I fit in with my church.

We all meet each other’s needs through prayer and encouragement. Love and support are the name of the game.

• I fit in with women pastors.

All of us are called. I know what it’s like for God to divinely inspire, or give revelation knowledge, along with the burden to teach or preach it. I know the fear of bringing forth God’s Word, knowing the seriousness of not misrepresenting Him in any form or fashion.

• I fit in with home school moms.

I understand it’s a calling and ministry in its own right. I know the frustrations of wearing the two hats of being both teacher and mom, the financial sacrifices, and the tears from feeling inadequate continuously. Every home school parent also knows the lonely battle of living out their convictions when family and community don’t understand or agree.

• I fit in with other women.

My interest might be different, but we think differently than men. Emotions rule our actions more often. I understand insecurity, singleness, dating troubles, marriage, pregnancy, miscarriages, and struggles of raising children when young, and as adults. I even know about step-parenting. Besides, what guy can pick out my jewelry?

The same way a kaleidoscope forms a unique picture with each turn. God created you. YOU are part of the beauty I see every day. Relax . . . and embrace your uniqueness to fulfill His purpose.

You display beauty and purpose with your uniqueness. You fit in!

I appreciate your taking time to stop during your busy day to read this. Please share it with your friends so they can overcome by learning how special they are.

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© 2022, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.