“Pastor, I believe Susie would make a great church secretary/treasurer. She’s so friendly and seems to be organized,” Frank stated in his most influential tone.
Frank might have been a deacon, but he didn’t know what the pastor knew. It wasn’t the pastor’s job to tell Frank that Susie handled her families finances and was going through bankruptcy. You see, it was that problem that brought her to the church seeking help in the first place.
A month later, another long-time church member wanted Bobby to be over the outreach meals. Once again, the pastor bit his tongue refraining from sharing how Bobby had stolen from the church and from him on a job they did repairing an elderly woman’s sink in the church.
These fictional examples demonstrate the pressures and stress a pastor/minister often endures. Confidentiality is a must to protect all his or her sheep, even when congregants adore and praise someone’s talents who is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. The pastor simply nods and smiles knowing the truth deep down.
Usually, these situations occur after being awaken at 3:00 a.m. to handle a domestic situation of church members, or gone to the ER to meet someone hurt in a car accident. To top it off, three complaints about the sermon are drawn to the pastor’s attention, and one because the sidewalk had a few leaves on it. These types of attacks create numerous health issues, possibly accounting for the 1,700 pastors resigning every month in America, according to Pastoral Care, Inc.
We can’t forget these examples are on top of normal marriage and family responsibilities. Once, we had a major situation rocking our world with one of our kids that drained our energy. Needing to assess our reactions from different angles among our pain and muddled thoughts was challenging enough, yet another storm stared directly at us. A confrontation with two renters to pay up or move out lay ahead, who had been given extra opportunities and grace since they were also church members. Regardless of rising blood pressure, it was imperative to be as Christ-like as possible. Hurt and wounded, we prayerfully drug ourselves to the evening church service, trusting the Lord to give us His strength. On the way, we received a text from our song leader that they quit the church effective immediately. Numb from shock, God’s strength miraculously saw us through.
Have you really thought about what your pastor vmight go through? Churches across the country celebrated “Pastor Appreciation Month,” with cards and gifts from simple to elaborate. Every pastor has different personalities and gifting, but all work hard in ways you will never know. All are doing their best to follow Jesus and lead by example in their imperfections.
To prevent burn-out, show your appreciation by praying for your pastors all year-long. here are some prayer points, although other ways would probably not be refused.
1. Pray the pastor(s) competence comes from the Lord (II Cor. 3:5)
2. Allow our pastor to remain in Jesus; attached to His vine (John 15:4)
3. Let our pastor not grow weary in well-doing (Gal. 6:9)
4. Pray for them to cast their emotional cares to the Lord, rely on His strength to gain a deeper walk, and learn to be honest so ministry doors will open.
Besides prayer, many church denominations are trying various ideas to combat these emotional health issues. They’re shared in a New York Times article you can read here.
Will you pray for your pastor this year? My author friend, Sally U. Smith does. Her book, Pit Crew: Praying for Your Pastor to Finish the Race will be published early 2016. I appreciate her hard work on this much needed project.
Did this story cause you to change your focus at any level towards your pastor?
I’d love to hear your thoughts and insights in the comments below.
© 2015, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.
There is so much truth to this article, I see it lived out by my sweet, faithful, caring & long suffering Pastors every week. In my opinion, being a Pastor or a Pastor’s wife is one of the most difficult jobs in the whole world. The Pastor’s wives are to be greatly appreciated because they are constantly having to share their families time with so many others who have needs or problems in life that they are wanting the Pastor to help them solve. I hope that people will continue to pray for our local Pastors but also the Pastor’s wives, for they have a very tough job only from a different perspective.
Much love, blessings, and strength to those who sacrifice on the front lines in the battle of this wonderful life!
Pastor Robin
David, you’re not alone. It is very easy to build up walls when helping others, or to be skeptical. Burn-out is inevitable for many. We have learned to love unconditionally always, but to blend in wisdom and responsibility in order to prevent abuse. There are several clues and techniques that can be used to protect more often than not…at least, it keeps things to minimal damage. LOL.
I’m glad my story allowed you to see things through different eyes. Be blessed. I’ll be ordering more candles before long.
I simply couldn’t imagine the stress a pastor and his or her family must go through in the way of helping others…others who turn out to be as stated, “a wolf in sheeps clothing”. Personally I am constantly profiling people who ask me for “spare change” or “a couple dollars” and have a set of criteria that one must meet for me to even consider helping them. Yes, it may be sad to hear but, it’s the absolute truth and the truth oftentimes hurts. I’ve been burnt so many times that I must in a sense “judge” whether or not someone deserves my help as I can’t stand people who take advantage of others regardless of who it is. So, after hearing the pastor’s story or a small part of it I should say, I have a newer level of respect and appreciation for the pastor. It’s just a small piece I never considered and it’s something that I could not do and remain “Christ-like” as you so well put it. I applaud Steve and other pastors for what they do as well as send them a prayer.