My 7 Hardest Things About Parenting With Little to No Vision

I had been legally blind for thirteen years when Steve and I married. His two teens lived with him, giving me an instant family. Adapting to this birthed greater challenges at first than those of parenting with a visual impairment. Over time, though, visual challenges emerged.

(Please remember the blind and visually impaired are all different. My challenges won’t necessarily reflect those of other blind or visually impaired parents)

Here’s my 7 hardest challenges:

1. Not driving.

Surrendering my driver’s license within my first year of marriage not only meant losing my independence, but the inability to run necessary errands. Believing they were part of my duties created much internal conflict, as well as extra planning.

Relying on others has never come easy for me, let alone learning to trust your children to drive you around instead of vice-versa.

2. Home educating.

They transitioned to public high school, giving me a reprieve before starting the process all over with our youngest. By this time, more vision loss had incurred. The challenges were in constantly developing my creativity and resourcefulness as my sight changed and her needs too. Planning was a full-time job . . . year-round.

3. Finding items.

“Where is…?” was asked often when preparing to cook or clean. Teaching and checking chores was easy, but their remembering everything had its place was another story. When I needed an item, it had found a new home, been borrowed without recollection of doing so, or worse, moved two inches away.

Okay, I’ll confess. I have a terrible sense of feel so I can be touching the correct object, and not know it. It could be my fault and the kids got the blame, whereas without children, I would’ve known it was my bad feeler. Plans A-F were then developed as a lifestyle.

4. Sitting on the sideline.

Equally impacting was the inability to take photographs to let memories linger.

5. Shopping.

As a mom, I wanted to pick up favorite foods or cute items on sale . . . especially at Christmas. I LOVE bargains! Instead, shopping became hard work. I prepared lists making sense to whomever was assisting. I learned every family members and friends’ skills. It took knowing who was gifted at which type of shopping, as well as the best method to communicate . . . taking pleasure out of most shopping.

Increased varieties in products, stores constantly moving merchandise for marketing, and new tactics of  couponing and codes with online shopping, compounded the task of shopping.

6. Teaching God’s Word.

The most important thing for me to teach as a Christian parent was God’s Word. However, when I was sighted, I wrote verses to memorize with colorful marker and pasted them on mirrors and my refrigerator. By the time I became a parent, I wasn’t able to set this example, nor to model my prayer journaling, Bible highlighting, and note-taking during sermons. I attempted to compensate by telling Bible stories and memorizing the scriptures right along beside them during school, but that never felt good enough.

7. Bedtime.

At the close of the day, I always dreamed of reading a book to my child on my lap at bedtime then tucking them in bed, saying prayers, and kissing them goodnight. This routine wasn’t possible for me since I couldn’t read without using special equipment. Tucking them in wasn’t always an option either when the floors were in disarray. I’m sure your kids’ rooms never get that way, but walking amongst piles of clothes, and more, isn’t conducive to someone without sight. Nonetheless, we persevered, and made sure goodnight hugs and kisses were always given.

The hard challenges continue with my grandsons, but I overcome by changing my focus to these truths.

• a family is a team working together for the good of all, each one
doing what they can

• everyone lives with something. There is no such thing as a perfect
parent or circumstances.

• true pleasure comes from the journey and the lessons learned throughout.

• let others’ pleasures become yours

• I married the right man who truly completed me . . . a help-mate indeed!

What has been your hardest challenge in your parenting journey? What do you think would be the hardest part of being a visually impaired parent? Please tell me in the comments. I’m able to read them, but technical challenges replying to your comments remain unresolved. Pray for me.

Thanks so much for taking time to stop in. I am humbled by how many choose to share my words of encouragement with others. Feel free to check out my other stories as well. Blessings to you.

© 2016 – 2022, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.