I am honored to have a dear new friend share her post with you today. I recently “met” Ruthann J Weece through her blog, as I have just become a subscriber not so long ago. Her story inspired me and the more I thought about it, I knew it would inspire you too.
So, without further ado, here is her guest post, Where There is Pain, Healing Can Come:
Pain
Whether I was dealing with pain from childhood abuse, or pain from within the Church my go-to was to always get past it. I remember my first therapy session when my Counselor asked what I wanted from our meetings and I said, “I just want to get healthy“. I didn’t want to go through the ache of healing. I wanted to get over the pain. I wanted to pretend things were good, but it didn’t work. Ignoring or denial of my pain was a coping mechanism I used to numb my pain.
Growing up I was taught you treat pain with medicine, you do anything to numb or negate it. Yet, pain when it is positioned correctly can propel us through some of the darkest valleys. I learned this years later when Joe was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer that turned our world upside down.
Just as a sliver of light was making its way across our bedroom floor. I quietly pulled back the covers and headed downstairs because some things need to be processed alone with God. I made a hot cup of tea and sat there in the dark where I begged God for relief and for a rescue. Cupping the warm ceramic mug I balanced it in my hands, and realized I was going to need to let go of some things. Things can’t continue as they’ve always been. Everything has to change, even us. Joe was weaker now. His mind was no longer able to concentrate on the daily happenings in the church, where he had served for the last nine years. Now, he was contemplating how to just make it through the day without getting sick.
Worry
It’s different when you’re not the one in pain or the one being prodded for samples. I tried to be encouraging and yet was secretly scared myself. How do you know your way through a place you’ve never been? I tried hard to not expose my worry and concern but inwardly it was eating at me.
We knew God had a plan for us and one day we would know how all of it fit together. But for now we would have to trust that his ways were good regardless of how they were unfolding.
Every day we did the same thing like clock work. We drove twenty minutes or so depending on traffic to the hospital and into valet parking, where they would park our car and hand us a voucher. We would pass by the greeters and then make our final accent and climb all seventeen stairs (which Joe counted on the first day). Our brains have a way of tracking the most abstract things to distract us from the ache that’s haunting us within.
There was a young couple sitting down the row from us that morning. They looked like they were newly married. The husband’s hand was gently rubbing his wife’s back as to calm her angst. Their eyes were fixed on one another’s faces. No words were spoken, but their faces told their story. Tiny tears sat in the corner of their eyes, waiting to fall. I turned away. They were too young, I thought.
It was Joe’s last day of chemo for the week. I wondered how he would do this time. Each cycle his Oncologist was upping his doses to attack the deadly disease and this week had already been especially hard. Just about then a nurse called Joe’s name and we headed back for a quick intake of his vitals and his “daily thirty” questions.
Worship
As we sat in the exam room I pressed play on our worship playlist. When Joe first got cancer we decided to choose worship over worry and it became the one thing we leaned into for a steady stream of comfort and peace. Our pain might have drawn us into worship, but it was God’s promises that held and healed us through that dark valley.
The One who led us into that dark valley, was the One who walked us through and out of it too. Because even when there is pain, healing comes.
If you’re in a hard season, struggling to find hope – Let me know how I can be praying for you!
What an incredibly moving story! I love Ruthann’s comment that they chose worship over worry, that is such a beautiful way to approach such a big moment in your life. What a wonderful ending too . . . “The One who led us into that dark valley, was the One who walked us through and out of it too.”
Thank you Ruthann for sharing your wisdom with me and my readers, I appreciate you taking the time to visit and look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Ruthann is an artistic and skillful writer as well as a researcher who has worked in ministry for over thirty years. She has a deep understanding and compassion for those searching for wholeness and healing. She is a contributing writer with Her View From Home and the Dawn app. Ruthann and her husband lead a multi-ethnic church in Dallas, and have four grown sons and daughter-in-laws and a grandson.
Their family is a multi generational ministry family with three sons and wives in full time ministry and one son serving in the armed forces. You can find her online at ruthannjweece.com, on Instagram @ruthannjweece, and Facebook @ruthann.weece.
© 2023, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.
Leave a Reply