For many months of my life, suffering inserted itself more often than not. I quickly learned suffering easily spills over to unwanted depression, casting a lingering shadow over life.
Another thing I learned later is that I don’t have to camp out there. There is a way to break out of suffering.
And it is simpler than you realize.
It doesn’t matter if you are suffering from:
- loss of a loved one or child
- loss of a pet
- an injury
- a bad diagnosis
- bad marriage
- anxiety and depression
- loneliness
- being overwhelmed and stressed
- low self-esteem
- addictions
For all of these, there exists a way to break out of suffering and propel you into victorious thinking.
Yes, you can break out of suffering, simply by asking yourself certain questions and avoiding a deadly one.
We can’t avoid suffering. The Bible tells us repeatedly Christians will suffer, and we know all of humanity does. That is why we need to learn how to break free from its negative grasps.
Avoid Asking This Question
Almost every time we suffer, our immediate reaction is to ask ourselves the silliest and most unproductive question that ever existed.
this question is a trap – the same one we need to avoid like a plague!
What is it?
It is “Why?”
- Why me?
- Why this?
- Why now?
- Why not someone else?
Sound familiar?
How did these questions make you feel?
Did you get an answer?
Would it make you feel better if you had one?
I doubt it. At least it has never helped me. It usually is something we cannot change, and only prolongs our suffering unnecessarily.
When something goes wrong and we hurt so deeply, we automatically want to feel sorry for ourselves and blame others – usually God. Instead, there is a better way than blaming and asking why.
Why Ask Other Questions?
Instead of asking why, we can ask ourselves different questions – healthier ones.
Doing so gives us different answers in which to ponder. Answers that will break you out of your suffering and propel you into victory.
When my husband’s part-time job with a full-time income was lost, our world changed drastically. As a pastor and having a blind wife, he couldn’t work the same schedules as most couples.
Five years have passed with little improvement. Hope has risen and fallen as quick as the lungs of a serious Covid patient. We have tempted ourselves to ask why but forced ourselves to ask the following questions instead.
They, with God, have made all the difference in the world.
Give it a try.
Healthy Questions
1. What Does This Make Possible?
In other words, how can this make me better?
This question forces you to quit thinking about the problem, or the negative. Changing your focus this way opens your thoughts in a totally new direction.
And this, my friend, gives hope.
Have you ever witnessed a house fire?
Such a tragedy, but I often witnessed the occupants receiving a much nicer home, better furnishings, and a much happier life.
Other times, suffering improves our character, our relationship with God, or our circumstances. Isn’t that better?
2. What If It’s Not the End but a New Beginning?
Another hope-filled question.
Purchasing an expensive, modern piece of equipment in our print shop years ago, my husband said, “We’re going color, or bankrupt.”
That is exactly what happened.
Dropped during delivery, the equipment was damaged and never fixed properly, nor would they replace it. The loaning entity wouldn’t even work with us. Consulting a lawyer, we discovered no lemon laws existed in our state. We were forced to declare bankruptcy and close our doors.
God had a plan we knew not of though. It wasn’t an end, but a new beginning.
No sooner did we close our doors than we learned of an extensive government buyout of the town our church resided. We had to relocate. If we had stayed in business, we wouldn’t have had time to take care of the extra legalities, searches, and work necessary to relocate our church effectively.
3. What if the solution is almost here? Can I hang on?
Did you quit before the answer came?
I can’t help but think of the disciples after they watched their Savior and King hung on a cross. The disciples scattered and hid after Jesus’ death. Sorrowful, empty, and confused, their answer was on its way, without their knowledge. Resurrection Sunday dawned as Jesus promised.
Soon, they would see their Lord again, and understand. A new beginning emerged.
God’s strength allowed them to hang on. When we are weak, God is strong!
4. What if this is Preparing Me for the Next Chapter or season of my life?
There is life after a tragedy. You have a future. Without tests or trials, we’d never grow. Growing pains exist, but what nuggets, skills, or lessons did you come away with?
Every time we suffer, it doesn’t have to be in vain. There is a takeaway if we look for it.
For me, I had depended on a special magnifying machine to read. Over the years, my eyes grew tired using it. Then, the largest magnification no longer worked.
I was forced to turn to computers, using screen reader technology that I didn’t understand or know how to use.
This technology not only let me learn email but allowed me to experience the web for the first time! It opened the door to my season of writing and blogging.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
5. What Will I Tell My Grandchildren About This?
Not only does this question remind us we will get through this, but there is an opportunity to leave a legacy for grandchildren we may or may not have yet.
What lesson did you learn that you could pass on?
I learned through getting fired once to document at work and keep better records. I learned when trusting God, if He closes the door, He will open a window. He always has a plan.
In your situation, did God give you supernatural strength, peace, or a miracle that you can pass on? It can be advice, a story, or a lesson.
6. What If this is God’s blessing in disguise?
Did your suffering have a silver lining?
Early in our marriage, our money was tighter than a 300-lb. person wearing clothes three sizes too small. We weren’t sure how to escape. We analyzed everything from moving, buying an old clunker, to extra types of income.
Through a bank, God miraculously flipped things around where we had more cash flow without losing anything or taking on an extra job. . . a blessing in disguise.
Break Free
After reading this, you can see how asking why is so damaging to our thoughts and body. It can hold us captive against our will.
Now, you can understand how asking the right questions breaks us free by changing our thoughts to a hopeful and bright future.
You will never prevent suffering, but by asking yourself the right questions, you can break out of suffering every time. That is why I want to offer this in a download. you can print it and put them on the fridge or in your Bible.
Download them here, then share this with your friends so they, too, can break free from their suffering!
© 2023, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.
What great questions to ponder instead of the usual intrusive thoughts! Thank you for sharing another great post Jena!
Thank you, Mary. You know me, I like to stay focused on positive over negative. LOL. It really helps. Appreciate your taking time to comment.