Addiction. A word often associated with hopelessness. Without hope, man is most miserable. Can I hear an amen?
When our world falls apart and storm clouds seem to hover, hope is what sees us through. Hope of a better future lets us survive hard times.
Hope is something we never want to lose, yet it is possible.
A Hope-Stealing Problem
My life has definitely experienced its share of storms. Sometimes, even multiple-cell ones. To my dismay, I found one type that has left me hopeless – it is having a family member with an addiction.
Trying to keep hope that a loved one with an addiction may some day be set free can feel impossible at times. Some of the same feelings of hopelessness might be experienced by people praying for salvation of loved ones or those seeking healing for major illnesses.
Is there an addict in your family?
*alcoholic
*substance abuse, including prescriptions
*gambling
*pornography
*social media and video games
It’s quite rare to find a family without someone bound by one of the above issues. All of these addictions attempt to steal hope for both the addict, and their entire family.
I personally know the pain and hopelessness that plagues a family member with an addict they love. It can easily tear family members apart from the lies, lack of money, and distrust. The worry of getting a call saying they are dead or in jail equates restless nights. Disagreements on how to cope and react create added tension in relationships.
Some family members even turn away from God for not answering their prayers.
Now I Have Hope – Now I Don’t
Hope comes and goes. In one second, hopes can be dashed, over and over. It is a cycle that keeps repeating itself.
The more time that passes, the weaker my hope gets and the longer it stays away.
In the beginning, there were years of denial, believing excuses given for the inability to keep a job, mood swings, and such.
Once we recognized our loved one had an addiction, it was easy to hang on to hope because the problem wasn’t big in our eyes. The times hope dissipated didn’t last too long.
Hope arrived again when rehab was attempted. Seeing the loved one’s personality reemerge after I wondered if it was even possible, gave me pleasure.
As quickly as hope came, it died when cravings seemed to overtake. The addiction recaptured them, holding them hostage once again. Would I ever get to see the person I knew and loved again?
Instead, we suffered:
*holiday crises
*lost jobs
*lost cars
*lost homes
*bad marriages and relationships
*suicide attempts
*law violations, and the embarrassment that goes along with it.
Tough love was administered, along with much prayer, providing temporary hope. Soon, old habits returned pushing away hope one more time.
Tougher love was shown, letting hope return, but the addiction only worsened.
I’d be a millionaire if I was given $1 for every tactic we tried – each one giving hope before being stolen again.
I’d be a billionaire if I had figured out a definite process or solution, and hope would’ve turned into rejoicing.
Instead, more chains of bondage followed, gripping tighter and tighter, until hope was out of my grasp.
I will leave out the gory details from this fighting of demons, for it is a painful tale. No visible results as of yet, even though apparent breakthroughs dangled in front of us from time to time.
A Beautiful Hope-Giving Revelation
Worn down and discouraged, hope wasn’t even a word to me anymore. It was then, God sent a beautiful friend to refuel my hope. She gave me an amazing revelation.
During the roughest of times, I hold on to this hope – a hope found in the strangest of places.
All I have to do is remember her words. “Seeds germinate in the darkness.”
Yep. I’ll let that sink in for a minute.
Picture this: Seeds are hidden. Unseen. Surrounded by dark soil, they are held captive deep down, far from light…Isolated and alone, except for a few worms.
All the seeds will not turn into grass or plants. But if they do, they must first die. The ones who survive germinate in the darkness without anyone else knowing it is happening. No signs are given. Evidence of the germination takes time.
Likewise, we plant seeds by delivering God’s Truth to our loved one bound by an addiction. As you water it with love and prayers, the seed will eventually die, bringing forth new life. This new life isn’t visible for quite some time, depending on the individual seed, the type of soil it is surrounded by, and fertilization used.
While some seeds grow faster than others, the fact remains…all of them germinate in darkness. Not one is struck by lightning and grows immediately, or overnight, as in the story Jack and the Beanstalk.
Embrace the Hope
I have hope knowing we have planted, watered, and fertilized many seeds in our ministry. I don’t need to go by what I see for they could be growing in the darkness.
I have been blessed to see the fruit of several people set free from their addictions, regardless of who did the planting or watering. Each person seen and experienced God’s love and truth in order to grow.
Knowing seeds germinate in darkness gives me much hope. Seeing people set free gives me more hope. Even so, it hasn’t given me permanent peace. I continue to fight and calm myself by focusing on the fact the seed can germinate in darkness with my love and grace being shown.
I try to focus on praying every seed will surrender to God and begin growing, especially my loved one. The ones closest to us are the hardest ones to hold on to hope with. That is why I reach out to others.
I do my best to quit looking at all the negative behaviors in front of me and think of that seed and pray once again for it to germinate and grow. When I fail, I shed tears of surrender to Jesus.
I must ask forgiveness often and ask God for wisdom and direction.Everyone needs hope. It doesn’t matter if it is found in the strangest of places. Hope remains.
© 2022, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.
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