Summer heat, sleepless nights, tiring vacations, and added stress spark tempers quickly; especially with so much unrest in our country. While there are tips to cool off when you get red hot, or angry, it is best to recognize anger’s arrival and snuff it out before it begins to rise.
Avoid anger danger by learning what it is and how to handle it. Most importantly, always remember safety first with this natural phenomenon that affects every age, sex, culture, religion,
Eph. 4:26 shows we can be angry, and control it.
Anger is a natural reaction to “perceived” danger. It is a secondary emotion to the perceived threat in our minds. Since our perceptions are what leads to anger, we are able to learn to recognize when we’re getting angry.
Have you gotten angry?
Most of the time these perceptions are based on faulty thinking. Have you gotten angry when feeling . . .
- embarrassed, believing others are thinking things about you that don’t exist
- rejected from not receiving what you felt you deserved or had earned
Other causes:
- lack of sleep,
- being stressed and overwhelmed
- mirroring observed behaviors
- low self-esteem causes a higher sensitivity so things are taken personally
For some, anger hides other hurtful emotions; sadness, loneliness, or grief. Anger makes them feel safe until they find someone to trust to open up with.
Using a journal, listening to a loved one, or counseling helps discover your triggers. So does reflecting after exploding. Meanwhile, try turning your heat down before it gets too hot by making a prevention plan. Simply choose a couple of the following to try:
10 Ways to Cool Off When You’re Red Hot
1. Walk it off.
This is the first and most effective prevention of losing your top. Walk to a bedroom, bathroom, outside, or anywhere away from the cause. The act of walking burns some of the frustration, but more importantly, it separates you from the fuel source, so your fire will burn out quicker.
2. Breathe.
For some reason, breathing helps tremendously. I know, if you don’t, you’ll pass out. Deep breaths improve oxygen intake improving the ability to relax. Focusing on “breathe-in ” and “breathe-out” also keeps the mind concentrating on something other than the previous negative words/thoughts.
3. Count.
This might be an old recommendation, but it’s effective. Some people silently count to 10 slowly; others might reach 100.
4. Prayer and praise.
Prayer changes things. To me, this works best after walking away but has the advantage of being accessible no matter where you are. Feel free to pray aloud if you’re even closer to blowing your top before starting. Listen to praise music when done or say out loud, “Praise you, Lord,” repeatedly until your voice softens.
5. Exercise.
If time allows, and you have the means, go to a gym, ride a stationary or real bicycle, lift weights, or any other exercises you know. Doing a full workout is most beneficial.
6. Think of something relaxing.
It can be a pretty song, a favorite place you went on vacation or something in nature like ocean waves, chirping birds, crackling fires, or bubbling brooks. Don’t think of burning the person making you mad, or any of their belongings. This would be counter-productive to this step (attempted humor). The purpose here is to distract yourself from what’s bothering you and to cool down.
7. Think funny.
Distance yourself by thinking of a funny movie, picture, or better yet, create your own character with exaggerated words and actions of the agitating perpetrator.
8. Throw, hit, or scream.
Are you surprised I threw this one in? If you are at a place with the right items and can do so safely, then, by all means, go ahead. Hitting pillows and mattresses work the best . . . saves knuckles from scarring and broken fingers. Pillows double for screaming into also. Please, never throw sharp objects or weighted ones. If others may be in hearing distance, roll a towel kept tucked away and scream into it. Only throw soft items when alone for safety’s sake.
9. Give an unexpected reaction.
My husband always says the calming words, “I love you,” to our children, and has even done so to acquaintances. Then, he adds funny noises, “off the wall” sayings, or makes faces. Burst into a song or dance. Giving strange and unexpected reactions, not only shocks the other person but moves your thoughts from the irritation heating you up to being funny.
10. Call a friend.
This is mentioned last because it is a luxury distraction. It can only be done if you and your friend can keep conversation to a minimum of negativity, avoiding drama. A quick call notifying you are experiencing a high level of frustration, followed by a request for prayer, is a special thing.
Our reactions matter. As parents, and especially Christians, children and adults alike are watching us; and learning.
Let’s Talk. What method calms you the most? Got another idea? Please share in the comments below, then share this post with your friends and family. Thank you for stopping by to read.
© 2024, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.
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