God created the family unit. Strong marriages build strong families, which build strong societies.
Do you remember falling in love? How did you feel inside? Were you able to think about anyone or anything else?
I remember.
Before marriage, you believed premarital counseling wasn’t necessary. In your mind, your future spouse could do no wrong – they were perfect in your eyes. No need.
Fast forward a year when frustrations and anger now abound because you believe your mate couldn’t do anything right!
That’s when you wish you had taken counseling, or someone had given you a marriage manual as a wedding gift.
The truth is, we don’t change until we’re ready. That’s why even though I don’t have a manual, I’m sharing ten actions I’ve applied in my marriage. I believe these will promise to spark a flame in yours as well – no matter where it is relationally.
Think of these actions being the power pointing your marriage in the right direction, the way the captain’s wheel turns a large ship’s rudder.
Knowing these ten action steps would have made marriage much easier when I married my knight in shining armor with custody of his two young teens.
Likewise, it could’ve helped him walk by my side easier on my journey of sight loss.
We’re thankful God has been the center of our marriage. God is the one who taught us how to keep the flame burning, even if not always as bright as it should or could be. Now, we can pass on our experience and knowledge.
I know my parents always told me they loved each other more than when they married. I understand that concept now. Real love goes deeper than is imaginable.
Nowadays, people put more effort into the wedding ceremony than the marriage. Couples hold false expectations that a marriage should continue to be as beautiful. In truth, they can be more beautiful.
Pray first then try these promising actions at your own pace. They’re easier than getting divorced – abusive relationships excluded.
Divorce is messy, and causes havoc and aftermath to many, making future relationships all the harder. You may as well wear a shirt saying, “Carrying baggage” on the front.
10 Powerful Actions:
1. Treat your mate as you want to be treated.
It is called “The Golden Rule”. Too often, we confront life from our own view and what we want without consideration of others. Before opening your mouth, ask yourself if you would want to be griped out, yelled at, talked to in that tone, or have it reworded?
2. Do one unselfish act a day for your spouse. Be intentional.
It can be as simple as pouring a glass of coffee before being asked, carrying something extra for them, warming a towel for use after a shower, or fluffing a pillow. Fixing their favorite meal or letting them choose what or where to eat works great also.
It’s not painful but softens the spouse’s heart.
3. Start and end your day with a kiss, hug, pat, or “I love you.”
Doing all three scores bonus points, and so does showing affection before leaving and returning home.
Public displays of appropriate affection are signs of a healthy relationship, and even more important in today’s society. My husband and I are glad to do our part.
4. Treat your spouse better than your friends.
Sound crazy? Once married, we tend to take each other for granted and show our nicer side to co-workers and friends. We even spend more time with them. It’s so easy to let our guard down and become inattentive the longer we’re married. Avoid this trap.
5. Want something done? Make requests – not demands.
This is such an effective way of getting a job done. Follow it up with manners saying, “Thank you. I really appreciate it” and see if improved treatment doesn’t come soon.
6. Genuinely brag on your spouse to others.
Occasionally, do it in hearing range. Public declarations let them know you are proud of them and put a smile on their face.
What would it do for you?
7. Compliment your spouse daily.
Tell them why you love them, like how they do something, or how much you appreciate them for a character trait they possess. The results are out of this world.
Don’t believe me? How do you feel when someone compliments you? I know it makes me want to do it again. When teaching with preschool handicapped children, we called this ‘shaping behavior’.
8. Set and keep regular date nights.
Turn phones off. Your spouse is important, whether they feel like it or not at the moment.
No talking about children or the household demands. Find neutral topics of interest and dream together of a combined future exploring new territories.
If a family member isn’t available to babysit and you can’t afford to hire one, trade off a different night with friends who have children. Dates don’t have to be expensive, but they need to be special, and most importantly, kept.
How often depends on what season of life you are in, but this habit should never stop as long as you are married.
9. Make peace with your past so it won’t destroy your future. Bad home lives growing up, and divorce, bring unresolved and damaging issues from your past. They won’t stay hidden forever! Let go – forgive yourself and others.
10. Understand your job isn’t to change your spouse – it is to change yourself and pray for your spouse. It is impossible to control others, but you can control your actions and reactions.
Putting Jesus first in a marriage truly ignites a fire faster than anything. He expects us to give 100% of ourselves to our spouse; not 50/50.
God created the family unit. Strong marriages build strong families, which build strong societies.
Here’s a free gift so your marriage isn’t torn down before it’s built. Grab 7 Rules to Fighting Fair by clicking here. —> https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/r0z2h5
Appreciate your taking time to drop in. Share this to improve someone else’s marriage, too.
© 2024, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.
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